Truths.

Truth is,
love isn't the pain, love is not the fear, the real fear, is being without it, not with it. With it, we are happy, but the truth everyone hates to hear, is it is not love that pains, its loneliness, because with it, your loveless.

But, love is almost like a pize, or invisible object, you do anything to win it,keep it, and share it, but not all of us can manage it, it can be replaced, but wont be forgoten, because unlike a win or possestion, its everywhere.

Anyway, what I am getting at, is my love, last week, and this past week, has been threatened, intirely, causing, greif pain, and most of all, fear of loosing him. I don't want to compete with my past blogs in a sense, by writing down all my feelings for my boyfriend, how he's so much better than that other idiot. I don't need to because i know it, but i also know i did love that idiot, and i can't deny it, i have just read over some of my posts, i admit, im stupid writing so strongly for a boy i hardly knew, but those feelings were there. But, I'm not going to lie, and say I loved him like no other, because, god. I can't put it down how I feel about my boyfriend, I love him, truely, not just love/crush like I did, but i mean irravocably love, to the point I'm not affraid to tell him about my previous loves, or hide how I feel, keep things hidden, or hold back. I can be completely myself around him.

But, I almost lost that. Twice.
I can't.
Just, can't speak about...
How much,
that hurt.

Hurt, isn't even the word, I don't think there is for that pain.

But, one of my best friends, being fucking amazing as he is, helped me. He came to my house, in the pouring rain, just to make sure i was ok? It was half nine, but he came. He, sorted everything for me, conforted me, and gave me a shoulder, to cry on, and managed to make me laugh. I don't know how to thank him enough, but he litrally saved me.

Anyway, for now, I still have my love, which i prize more than this world, people may say 'your over your head' or 'your two young' but you live once, and if that means only one life-time I have to spend as long as I can with him, then so be it. Because, I wont leave him, I can't, and hope this lasts, for as long as we both want. Because, the only way I'm happy, is knowing he is too, thats all I want, him happy, however much I will always need him, knowing he's ok, is all I truely want.
I love him, and would do anything for him.
Enough said.